Journey to the North
Song from The Christmas Lobster

HILLARY
Farnham Station, London train, don’t go losing these.
Sam, come and sit with the group, I’m asking nicely, please.
Elliot, you’ve got sticky hands, don’t put them on the glass
And Leslie! Come back here, you can’t sit in First Class.

We’re heading for the mainland, from there our route is planned
Oh, I’ve been plotting this for ten long years.
We’ll need to be resourceful and we’ll need to be a team
Then I believe we can achieve my dream - I mean, our dream.

ALL
Adventure! Into the unknown
We will not be defeated and we’ll never be alone
Finally! The North Pole is in sight.
The secrets of the Man in Red are sure to see the light!

ELLIOT
How’d we end up on a boat? It’s all been such a rush.
Why can’t we visit France instead? I’ve heard the food is lush.
Or we could go to Holland and have a bite to eat?
Or stop over in Sweden and find some Swedish sweets?

It’s funny how the water rocks the boat from side to side
This ride’s making my tummy feel weird.
It’s getting quite bad actually, it’s tied itself  in knots.
Oh is there any chance that we could stop – oh no, sorry! (Vomiting)

ALL
Adventure! Into the unknown.
We will not be defeated and we’ll never be alone.
Finally! The North Pole is in sight.
The secrets of the Man in Red are sure to see the light!

SAM
I’ve had a go on skis before, on a trip to France.
I knew that I’d be rubbish, so I warned them in advance
I stacked it on the training slope and crashed into a tree.
I broke my leg and got this scar, it’s really bad you see. 

But I’ll keep on going to get to the North Pole!
We must be near the Arctic Circle now.
I want to see the northern lights and spot a polar bear.
It’s my only chance to take a trip up there!

ALL
Adventure! Into the unknown
We will not be defeated and we’ll never be alone
Finally! The North Pole is in sight.
The secrets of the Man in Red are sure to see the light!

LESLIE 
I’ve used contacts in the army to contract a small plane.
There’s room for every one of us, this trip won’t be in vain!
I watched a training video back in 2008,
I still remember most of it, come on we can’t be late.

Soaring over Arctic ice, what a scenic flight.
Everything is white for miles, it’s really messing with my sight.
Is that the ground or is it sky? Feels like we’re in a race!
No...actually it’s the ground. Everybody BRACE!